There are two fundamental aspects on being a man: Congruence and Abundance. My RAS (Reticulate Activation System) have been tuned to these aspect for the last few months and as I’ve been observing people in social interactions, I saw a common theme among them, and it is proved to me over and over that these are one the key distinctions between real, mature and evolved men and the average ones. I Now let’s get to my description for these terms.
Congruence: Or Authenticity means that your thoughts, beliefs, character, personality, appearance, words and actions are all aligned at all levels, it is the same as the good old “Be Yourself”, a man Always holds to his deepest realization, he doesn’t give a fuck about what others think about him and yet he cares about people and is open to criticism and feedback. You are congruent when you act spontaneous and through your intentions. What is the opposite of congruence? Acting based on superficial desires, through your fears and based on what you are told or think that works in order to get a certain reaction from people, in other words: overcompensating to get an outcome, the “get” is a key word here that leads to next aspect of manhood:
Abundance: you have enough of everything, your needs are fulfilled so much that your enjoyment lies in giving, although you are open to receive when some one enjoys giving what he/she has to offer. Even when your impulses desire something and you feel the need for taking, you tap into your deepest realization and decide whether that “getting” and acting based on that impulse gets you closer to your purpose or not, if that gets you closer you take it by deserving it in a manly way. Now what is the opposite of Abundance? scarcity thinking, needing approval and validation of everyone, putting more priority to your needs than the needs of others or trying to get advantage of other people by making win/lose decisions.
There are many other attributes beside the ones I mentioned here, but many of them are related to these attributes or are by-product of them. For example in order to be congruent you must first be confident and have strong certainty about your beliefs and who you are as a person, or self esteem is closely related to abundance thinking. I will bring up other factors later hopefully. being aware of these attributes have helped my own growth a lot as they were one of my sticking points in life (and still are!) I hope they come to your use as well.